tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25059881.post2002665868401477496..comments2024-03-07T12:27:37.632+02:00Comments on Food & Family: Kindergarten BluesKithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11594062064082350697noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25059881.post-52378633845155908492008-05-04T00:58:00.000+02:002008-05-04T00:58:00.000+02:00I'm not a mom, so can't give advice from that pers...I'm not a mom, so can't give advice from that perspective, but I can tell you about my own experience. My mom took me to a small kindergarten near our house when I was about 4 and a half - and I screamed so much and made such a fuss that she could not leave, and after a week she gave up and I just stayed home with her till I went to "proper" school. I went to a little Catholic school about 5 blocks from our house and on the first day, predictably I HOWLED. The lovely Irish nun Sister Baptist just said to my mom "you run along now, dear, and she'll be fine" - and I was. I had a good time at school, I made friends and I loved my teachers. But... on the first day of the term EVERY TERM in the first 3 years of my school career, I howled when I was dropped off. My poor, poor mother! Despite this, I remember loving school. The first time I started a school term without copious weeping was when I started an a new school in Std 2 (now Grade 4) which was much bigger. I wanted to cry, but there were so many other girls, so when my mom left, I blinked hard and followed the teacher to the classroom. I never cried again at the start of a term. <BR/><BR/>Not sure if that helps, but at the very least it shows that a) going to kindergarten is not essential for a successful start to school and b) the fact that there is weeping might not indicate as much trauma as adults imagine.<BR/><BR/>Good luck - I hope you find a solution...Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12325204219395014329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25059881.post-5372007037806821322008-03-03T12:37:00.000+02:002008-03-03T12:37:00.000+02:00Kit I agree with both CHarlotte and Pilgrimchick. ...Kit I agree with both CHarlotte and Pilgrimchick. I am told I used to howl until my mom had left the building, play quite happily all day and howl for 5 minutes before pick up time. You can imagine the trauma that caused my mom. She even drove away, parked down the street and snuck back to check that the teachers were telling her the truth. They were! I also battled to get my daughter to let go (also a waldorf playschool) until the teacher said I was just waiting for her to cling so she did what she thought I wanted. I tried it her way, just a big hug and a kiss then left, and it worked. I noticed she was quite clingy with the teacher in the beginning, but a waldorf teacher should be prepared to offer that comfort and reassurance, after all, if youngest is secure in that she should be able to happily go off and play. In theory. Maybe she senses your reservations about the teachers? I wish I could give you an answer, but I think end of the day, you are paying for the school, you are a 'customer' they should give you what you want. Trust your insincts.african vanieljehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05092760546478870281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25059881.post-68525323020152519832008-03-03T05:51:00.000+02:002008-03-03T05:51:00.000+02:00Ok, bottom line--tough love.I know that may sound ...Ok, bottom line--tough love.<BR/><BR/>I know that may sound entirely unsympathetic, and I do apologize for it, but the question does come up whether her separation anxiety may be an exention of the parents' connection to her, not necessarily her individual needs and personality. This doesn't mean that you are notably more attached to her than any other children you may have, but what it does mean is that she may be more attune to your parental connection to her than your other children. <BR/><BR/>Tough love, as a parent, sucks because you're going to feel guilty. That's why it is important to ask whether or not this is a difficult case for you because of the particular behavior of the child in question, or because of how you feel about it--or it could be a combination of the two (her realizing how you feel and reacting to it). She may sense your anxiety and be "acting out" because she is "playing on" it.<BR/><BR/>This may offer no insight at all, and if so, I apologize. I do not pretend for a minute this is easy, and I certainly hope that things work out best for her.pilgrimchickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13808106043964544413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25059881.post-26873262626091956102008-03-02T21:08:00.000+02:002008-03-02T21:08:00.000+02:00Oh Kit, I am sorry that you and your daughter are ...Oh Kit, I am sorry that you and your daughter are having such a tough time. I don't have any advice to offer, but I have noticed with my youngest that if there is any trauma in the house that morning (even something as small as a lost set of car-keys) or change of routine (Daddy taking him instead of Mummy), then there is some clinginess when he gets to kindergarten.<BR/><BR/>I do have a friend who had similar trouble settling her daughter down in kindergarten. I think they allowed her to go every day for six weeks, which seems tedious, but my friend was determined that the process be as gentle and kind as possible so that once the child was left alone at KG, she wasn't traumatised. Towards the end, she would leave for short periods and return, until they finally settled on Mummy staying for a short while and saying goodbye for the morning.<BR/><BR/>I admire my friend's determination to do it her way and her sensitivity to her child. I think you should follow your instinct and ask the kindergarten to let you do it your way. You know your daughter best - far better than they do.<BR/><BR/>Good luck. Let us know how it goes.Charlottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14976147051582732043noreply@blogger.com