Recipe for a South African country school run

Take one Opel Astra Estate, suitable for a three child family.

Instal said family, 5 minutes too late in the morning due to protracted searches for missing shoes.

Add one employee’s child who walks 7km to get to us for a lift to school.

Stir the mix well and season with off-key songs and gentle squabbles.

After 5 minutes add another two children, (employees’s children from a friend’s farm), don’t worry about seat belts any more, there’s room in the back.

Decant three children at son’s school. Replace with one more child and proceed briskly to the kindergarten.

Scoop the remaining mixture into the prepared kindergarten and leave to bake gently for three and a half hours.

At the end of the morning repeat the procedure in reverse. Driving carefully of course to allow baked goods to settle.

For a spicy variation, every now and again, squeeze in another cup full of friends to come home for a play date.

Accompany with a crisp winter sunrise over the mountains.

Warning: please do not try to replicate this recipe in Europe – local Health and Safety regulations apply.

P.S. Wanted - one minibus or people carrier in good condition, low fuel consumption and cheap, alternatively a magic carpet would be much appreciated.