Sunday, April 19, 2009

The threads of a day

At breakfast my mind wandered away from the cereal packets: the day seemed to me like a loom with a variegated pattern growing into a chaotic and bright cloth. A background of deep green grass with white bobbles of ducks preening. Bright threads of children’s voices in azure and pink making a continuous stream of chatter, zigzagging and flowing through the duller muted greys and blues of a soft autumn morning of mist. Soft, warm brown, in fluffy patches denoting purring cat on lap.

We talked of flotation tanks, fantasising about a tucked away place to escape the noise of the dogs that drives my husband demented at night with their restlessness. A flotation tank would be a smooth silk in a uniform charcoal, soothing to the senses, but dull and monotonous after a while.

Driving into town, to fetch newspapers and ingredients for tomorrow's lunch, the fabric was rough cotton with a graphic print of bold blocks of red and yellow on a tarmac-grey background.

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A sense of something profound but elusive teased at me all day – it had something to do with this passage from the Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander:

Taran (a boy on the threshold of manhood, eager to prove himself, says of another would-be young warrior, who is proud and ill-tempered):
‘I think he’ll feel better once we find the cauldron. There will be glory enough for all to share”
Adaon (older and more experienced) smiled gravely. ‘Is there not glory enough in living the days given to us? You should know there is adventure in simply being among those we love and the things we love, and beauty too.

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These posts grabbed me today too: Mary Alice on raising your children to be people you’ll like and this post by Jennifer Howze on skewed perceptions of happiness.

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Today felt like a gentle lesson on living in the now – a lesson that sometimes I think I have mastered, then I generally slip backwards and niggle at myself and the universe, impatient to make progress, tread new ground, achieve things, when sometimes I’m just supposed to be taking stock, looking at the individual threads and appreciating them, no more no less.

So instead of grasping after the elusive profundity, I played chess with our son, both of us beginners, he a quicker learner than me. And this post instead of being coherent and deeply insightful is imperfect and scattered, but with a hint of the colours of my day.

6 comments:

  1. It's a perfect post actually :)

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  2. scattered it may be (perfectly matching my personality and state of mind ;-)) and i loved it. you write so beautifully kit, and that post you linked to was so encouraging too. i am surrounded by mums who're just too perfect to be true (as are their kids, or at least as long as they're being talked about - i wouldn't take most of them if they offered me a million!) and have often thought if that's something i should aspire too.
    i like being all over the place sometimes and allowing myself to show that i, too, am on a journey here... we're not born perfect parents, our babies don't even come with a manual for crying out loud - so it's journey of mutual discovery and i shouldn't be shy to confess that i am not "practically perfect in every way" ;-)
    and as you say, enjoy the moments you have as much as you possibly can!

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  3. This was so inspirational - I wish I could paint what you have written in your first paragraph! Thank you for reminding me to live in the now and an attitude of gratitude!

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  4. I think this is one of your best posts - I love the way you allowed us into your mind....

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  5. I agree with poppy fields...perfect post! This moment I am taking in the delicate beauty and fragrance of an apple tree in bloom. How appropriate to read your wise words now! :)

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  6. Great post, Kit. I sometimes think we are so busy "getting somewhere" that we forget to try and capture everyday experiences, colours, thoughts and memories. This post will be like a pressed flower: a moment preserved in time bringing back the exact feelings of the day every time you read it.

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Thanks for your comments - I appreciate every one!