Friday, February 22, 2008

The Marriage Meme

Charlotte tentatively tagged me for this one and it's so long since I did a meme that I leapt on it. Plus it's lovely to be invited to spend time recollecting our wedding day of course!

1. Where/how did you meet?
At his photographic studio in London. A friend of mine was taking part in an exhibition he was putting on and I was at a loose end so went along to help …and stayed!

2. How long have you known each other?
14 years. We were late starters!

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
It took about a week of me being a calm and indispensable presence in the middle of a maelstrom of exhibition mayhem. We never did the going out on dates thing though, too broke for the most part, so we just hung out at the studio a lot.

4. How long did you date before getting engaged?
A year and a bit. He was always intending to come back to South Africa, so we made a couple of trips over here and met his family before he popped the question on the second visit, once I'd proved I could cope with SA and his family!

5. How long was your engagement?
5 months. We had to arrange yet another trip back to get married in South Africa as his parents were getting too old to travel. Mine we knew would enjoy the trip out here least we hoped they would!

6. How long have you been married?
12.5 years

7. What is your anniversary?
30th September

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?
About 30 or so.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?
I don't think we had one at all!

10. Where was your wedding?
At his parents cottage in a small town in a wine growing area in the Cape. The local magistrate was very kind and came to the house to marry us on a Saturday rather than have us come to her office, as we were flying over from the UK just before the wedding.

11. What did you serve for the meal?
A friend brought her own farm butter and home-made bread, which we had with gravad lax to start. Then we had the most wonderful whole fillet steak, cooked on the braai and crusted in black pepper and sea salt - it was so tender and succulent, I can still taste it! I can't remember what the puddings were but there would have been lots of them.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?
All 30 of them. They all crowded into the sitting room together then my father walked me up the garden path to the door and we had a very short and simple ceremony. My husband vowed to bring me breakfast in bed sometimes amongst the usual things!

13. Are you still friends with them?
Yes - they were all family and close friends, though the friends are spread over a wide range of countries now. We've only completely lost touch with my brother's then girlfriend, now ex.

14. Did your spouse cry during the wedding ceremony?

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?
All of it - I felt all aglow the whole day.

16. Any funny moments?
My sister-in-law thought we should have some music to come in to and started singing Happy Birthday! My brother with perfect timing after we'd given each other a first big kiss as a married couple solemnly intoned "You may now kiss the bride". Otherwise there was a constant stream of talk and laughter through the day.

17. Any big disasters?
No - though it was all very last minute organization - we were buying the champagne from Graham Beck at the estate at 4.30 the afternoon before our wedding day, and only got to the next estate, where we wanted to get our red wine from, just before it closed!

18. Where did you honeymoon?
We had an enormous breakfast at the Mount Nelson, Cape Town's finest old Belle Epoque hotel, with some of the friends who'd come out from England, before parting ways, then we headed up the West Coast to explore. We then had a massive sea-food blow-out on the beach, where I over-indulged on the warm pot-bread and got massive indigestion, prior to coming down with the flu, so we headed back to his parents house and took to our bed!

19. For how long?
We had about three weeks in SA altogether, but the rest of it was visiting with family, so we never really got the romantic honeymoon experience.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
The only thing we didn't think of was music, too busy concentrating on food. I'd have got somebody to play for us and had some great background music too.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

22. What size is your bed?
King size to have room for kids too, though now they hardly ever need it.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?
We like being together and can work together too.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?
Neither of us is at all tidy. Actually that isn't really a challenge - it just means we live in a messy house.

25. Who literally pays the bills?
These days he does - I used to, but once the babies came I handed over the chore.

26. What is your song?
Soppy stuff - Dusty Springfield - The Look of Love!

27. What did you dance your first dance to?
We didn't dance at the wedding - what a missed opportunity!

28. Describe your wedding dress?
I'd always wanted to get married in red and orange - so I had a dark red silk wrapover skirt and a burnt orange silk vest top, with a dark red and gold silk scarf and orange nasturtiums plaited into my hair.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
I carried three arum lilies, freshly picked that morning from a ditch by one of our guests.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?


  1. Oh please post a picture of your wedding --- you know you want to (or that I want you to!). I want to see that stunning-sounding wedding dress. Arum lilies are about my favourite flowers in the whole world.

  2. What a fun meme! I enjoyed hearing about your wedding. I agree with Charlotte--I'd love to see a pic.

    Also, your anniversary is my birthday :)

  3. Visiting in blogland today. I loved hearing about your wedding. It's so fun to hear about other people's lives I think. We have one thing in common, a September anniversary. My anniversary is 9/18!...this year will be 37! Yikes, I can't believe that!

  4. It sounds like a fantastic wedding...I love that you got married in red and orange with nasturtiums in your hair. We have huge banks of nasturtiums at my parents house, and have them consequently garnishing everything - we never thought to garnish a bride with them though.

  5. My attention is always grabbed by lists of questions that I could never participate in. It's an insight into "how the other half lives" or something like that.

    Congrats on your appreciation of your marriage--that is certainly something I have seen too many married folks miss out on. I, however, am perfectly happy not being able to answer this train of questions.

    But I may put it on my blog anyway, just for kicks.

  6. Kit.. your nuptials sound as lovely, serene and stylish as the rest of your lifestyle now days with children, the farm, school ect. Your dress, the arum lilies, the food...perfect "Kit" style which I so admire! I would also love to see a photo of you in your dress. How I wish I had gone this smaller, intimate wedding route 28 years ago. I was entrenched in the stuffy traditions of both families and did not listen to my inner voice. sigh. My eldest daughter joyfully is following her own voice in her upcoming wedding! Thanks for sharing your special day and memories.

  7. Wonderful story and I would love to see a picture of you in your dress with your lilies!

  8. Yes, do post a picture! Dying to see the wedding dress. Your wedding sounds wonderfully cosy and carefree.

  9. Oh, Kit you look gorgeous, and what a beautiful day to remember.! I also carried lilies, which many say are a flower of death, but I love them and I've been married 14 years now, so no bad luck there!

  10. What a great meme, and how lovely to be able to "share" your wedding day with you. Nick and I have justu hit 8 years this week, so the post has particular resonance. Your wedding dress sounds spectacular and as original as you yourself. And I don't think I have ever seen a bride with nasturtiums in her hair - picture please!


Thanks for your comments - I appreciate every one!